soul switcher
by herRhi-chan
Summary: kon and shiro accidendally switch bodies because of the mod soul candy thing..shiro gets very pissed off about this..it's kind of funny...summary sucks..story hopefully doesn't. no lemons..no kisses either..oh wel..still funny


Okay this is a rather strange idea..but it smacked me repeatedly till I typed it..sooo….voila! (I sooo know what that word means..) and I do tend to pick on Kon a lot..i really don't like him..urgh..

Warnings: language…mild hichiichi…umm…Shiro's mouth..hmm..abuse towards stuffed animals..yup..

rating: i'd say..T..because of shiro's dirtry mouth and implied man!sex

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It was a very boring day for Shiro. Ichigo had gone out to the store, and since he'd been banned since the last trip to the store, he had to stay at home and 'not touch or molest anything or anyone'..hmph..how boring! Stupid king..

Currently he was kicking his heels back and forth on the edge of the bed.

Recently he'd gotten a gigai, so that their…more physical interactions…were easier..and so Shiro could be out and about, he wasn't THAT much of a destruction machine..

He was now going through his king's clothes drawers looking for some candy..

..and then his peace was interrupted by the most annoying THING (in Shiro's book) in the universe; Kon.

"have you seen nii-san?" he asked in his annoying nasaly-ish voice.

"no you stupid fuckin' fuzzball.."

Kon continued to speak (to no one inparticualr) about how wonderful 'his' Rukia-chan was. Shiro was about ready to either puke or strangle the stuffed toy. Since he was in a mood for violence the latter choice was the action taken.

He picked Kon up and threw him so hard against the wall that the little green mod soul candy flew out of the stuffed lion's mouth and consequently into Shiro's unfortunately open one.

As soon as the little green candy was swallowed, Shiro was pushed from his gigai, and tripped into the little stuffed lion's fluffiness, while Kon was pushed into Shiro's gigai.

Shiro's first thought was that whatever almighty force out there really hated him, or that he must've been Hitler in a past life and his karma was just now getting him back..

He lifted the fat little paw up to his now much smaller face and almost burst into tears, and then slapped himself for the last thought.

Kon was thinking something along the lines of 'haha this body's even hotter then Ichigo's! wonder how many girls..'(I don't even wanna go there..)

First things first though, he picked up his former body roughly and threw Shiro out the room into the hallway, and to Shiro's epic horror, into Yuzu's eyesight.

Upon seeing the stuffed toy in the hallway she ran and grabbed him and went on a mad search for the frilly pink doll dress.

You could almost feel the feeling of dread rolling off the toy Shiro's body.

He now knew that no, he hadn't been just Hitler, but probably ivan the terrible, queen Mary I and maybe even Henry VIII, and karma was going to torture him to no end.

Kon was still in Shiro's gigai and was about to jump out the window (Seriously, who uses doors anymore?) when he saw the redheaded strawberry shinigami walking up the sidewalk. He didn't think it'd be a good idea to be caught by him in Shiro's body…he knew about their late night activities..having been caught under the bed a couple weeks ago, he;d been scarred for life and would never ever ever ever no how no way sleep in Ichigo's room again. He did not want to run into Ichigo..no way was he…taking part in any of THOSE activities…he shivered just thinking about it..

He rushed to the stairs hoping to beat the redhead to the door, but right before his hands touched the handle, it opened revealing the teen with bags of groceries in his hands.

"gimme a hand Shiro?" he said, oblivious to "Shiro's" body problem.

Ichigo was wondering why his lover's eyes had widened it what looked like horror when he saw him, usually by now he'd be half way up the stairs with most of his shirt buttons undone..

Ahh well he was content with the break of being constantly jumped, though it did irk him a bit when Shiro just ran up the stairs without helping him at all…this wasn't like Shiro at all..

After putting the bags of food in the fridge, he headed upstairs towards his room. Along the way he saw 'Kon' being tortured by his innocent little sister, and continued on his way to his room. As he opened the door, he heard a door opened and slammed, and yelling in Kon's and Shiro's voices. He was rather worried for Kon's well being and ran towards the noise.

The scene that met his eyes was sidesplitting. 'Shiro' big bad hollow, being throttled by a particularly violent 'Kon'. The stuffed lion was beating and kicking any place he could find on the pale one's body, and said pale one was…trembling?.there was definitely something wrong here, but Ichigo wasn;t exactly wanting to fix it..

Shiro was mercilessly beating the shit out of Kon. He didn't care that it was actually his body , and he;d be the one with the bruises, he just wanted to beat something to a pulp, even though the little lion paws weren;t exactly good for pummeling things..

When Ichigo was done staring at the scene before him, somethings clicked in his mind..why 'Shiro loked horrified, why 'Kon' was being so violent, and why Shiro was acting all weird. As realization hit him he doubled over literally laughing his ass off at the stuffed lion and the pale gigai. He laughed even harder at the dress Yuzu had dressed 'Kon' in, realizing that Shiro was technically in a dress.

At hearing his king laugh so hard, he stopped throttling himself and turned to shoot the most evil filled death-glare™ he could muster on this little toy's face.

Finally after fifteen minutes of laughing, Ichigo wiped the tears from his eyes and wandered into his room to look for the soul badge. He sure as hell wasn't going to shove his hand down Shiro's body's throat for the mod soul candy…who knew where that mouth had been…well he knew but he still didn't want to put his hand there.

When the still in a choke-hold "Shiro" and "Kon" returned, Ichigo had some fun teasing them with the badge before knocking Kon out of the gigai and into the little stuffed toy, and shoving Shiro back into his body.

After giving the little stuffed lion one last kick to the face, and out the door, Shiro turned to Ichigo and sad in a voice that promised death "if you tell anyone-" "what that you were in a dress?" he busted out laughing and received a well placed kick to the shins.

Kon mean while, tired of the violence towards stuffed animals was plotting Shirosaki's death by slow painful Chinese water torture (woo mythbusters..)..

FIN (woo I know Spanish..one whole word!)

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I know it was a bit OC, especially on Kon's part, but ehh..i thought it was kinda funny..i really just wanted to do something where Shiro was in a dres..*laughs evilly*

Shiro: *glares/ plots death*

Inspirational song of the day: paperstars by emmi la music, sorry bunnies, ya can't youtube this one, but it IS on myspace's music thing..i wish I could get it on my iPod…damn you iTune sand your not having decent techno!!


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